We then asked a few people to analyze our first draft and give us feedback on what we did well and what we needed to improve. We then took this feedback in to consideration and changed our final piece based on the feedback.
Targets:
The overall response we received on the first draft of the sweet truth is negative; however we will use this as constructive criticisms and set ourselves targets moving forward with editing and additional filming if necessary.
The feedback on this question was that it is doesn’t come off serious enough and it was seen more like a comedy rather than an informative short film about diabetes, The editing techniques we used in this first draft were not suitable for this genre of short films. We will remove the effects that didn't suit the piece. One other thing mentioned is that the flow of the documentary doesn’t feel natural, we will overcome this by using transition between the shots to give a better sense of continuity.
The response on this is similar to the first question, the issue being the poor jump cuts and music being inconsistent. We will find a track that fits the piece a lot better and has better consistency. As for the jump cuts between narrations, we will work on making the continuity of the short film more realistic as it is supposed to be done in a continuity editing manner to stay true to the genre.
We also aim to give more information about Abdul's routine as we did for Jeppe because the feedback we got was that they didn't learn enough about the unhealthy diabetics routine because it only really showed him getting out of bed. So we will film more scenes of Abdul explain how he got his diabetes as well as what happens next. We will also try to give the equal amount of scene time between the two characters and this should present the story more clearly.
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